Secret Separation
by animeninjaNIPPON
Summary: [songfic] Saying goodbye took longer than Johnny expected it to. [implied SLASH NnyOlder! Squee]


By animeninjaNIPPON

I'm definitely going to Hell for this one...heh. Yes, a songfic. Slash if you want to call it that - it's extremely minor, but still, you know the drill: DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own JtHM or it's characters, nor do I own the song "Secret Separation" (though I wish I owned both). Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is the property of Jhonen Vasquez (who I'm not, so I can't keep the characters 100 percent IC all of the time) and "Secret Separation" belongs to The Fixx (great band, by the way).

* * *

Johnny C. glanced out his broken window. The sun was setting, the band of orange representing the horizon getting narrower and narrower. "Tonight's the night," he sighed, and when Rev. MEAT didn't respond, he knew it was then or never.

He walked outside, slamming the door behind him. He wasn't going to screw up this time - he was leaving that Hellhole for good. The last couple of times he tried to get away, he ended up returning - God only knows why. There was nothing there for him. Devi was long gone, the monster had since disappeared...and after Jimmy, no one had even approached his door anymore. The only conversations he had were with his victims, his manifestations -

Johnny stopped short of his car, trapped by thought.

...and his next-door neighbor.

_We are passengers in time  
Lost in motion, locked together  
Day and night, by trick of light  
But I must take another journey  
We must meet with other names..._

The hapless kid had to be about 17 by now...but Johnny had lost track of time since he'd come back from Hell, if he'd ever been aware of it at all. "Squeegee," Johnny rasped to the resting boy.

_You touched my heart so deeply  
You rescued me now free me_

"...Nny?" Squee asked, sitting up abruptly.

"Don't worry, I'm not here for Band-Aids," Nny reassured. "I just dropped by to tell you...to tell you..."

He was cut off by the distraction of those wide, childlike eyes. Those eyes - the kind that could strike fear into the heart of a psychopath.

_Don't watch me cry  
Just see me go  
I'll take away the strongest feelings  
You will ever know..._

"I'm going away," he finished sharply.

"Oh," Squee mumbled, downcasting his eyes slightly.

"And I'm not coming back this time!" Nny yelled to no one in particular, frightening his sole mortal companion. As soon as they collected themselves, Nny continued. "Nothing personal, I just need to move on...find some place where I won't fuck up... Hmm, I wonder if they're still having two-dollar taco night at Taco Smell..."

_There will be no more isolation  
In our secret separation  
You touched my heart so deeply  
You rescued me...  
Now free me..._

Squee reached over toward his pillow and grabbed Shmee. Johnny studied the pallid teen as he clutched his beat-up bear to his ribs. Here was the one Nny had known for years, that one innocent being he could never harm - _would _never harm - staring awkwardly at him. In fact, if he didn't know better, he'd swear the kid looked disappointed. Squee did look a lot like those lovers in the movies when they were forced to part ways...or some shit like that.

Squee held Shmee a bit tighter. As strange as it seemed...despite all the trauma he received over the years from the sounds and screams next door (not to mention the occasional bedtime stories)...he really didn't want Nny to go. The "scary neighbor man" had been the closest thing to a "friend" he ever had, and Squee could no longer remember what life was like before he met Johnny.

_We are passengers in time  
Lost in motion, locked together  
Day and night, by trick of light  
But I must take another journey  
We must meet with other names..._

Johnny glanced backward and noticed the sky getting darker. What the Hell was he still doing in Squee's window? "Well, take care, little Squee." He hoisted himself off the sill.

"'Bye," Squee squeaked.

_If you hold me you will hurt me  
Be brave..._

"Bye-bye." Nny gave a little wave as he slowly stepped back.

_There will be no more isolation  
In our secret separation  
You touched my heart so deeply  
You rescued me...  
Now free me..._

The dark-haired maniac had no idea what the fuck was taking him so long to leave. Awkwardly, he stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the neighbor he had watched grow up. In all that time, Squee had never pissed him off, or hurt him, or become one of those street performers who impersonate robots and make that irritating wheezy whistle noise. He had retained that innoxious personality that Nny had never found in any other human being. He remained...Squeegee.

Squee's heart was racing with unknown suspense. Words were welling up in his mouth but fear was choking them back. He felt himself inaudibly reiterate "'Bye" and noticed his breath quicken.

_We are matching spark and flame  
Caught in endless repetition  
Life for life we'll be the same_

"Good luck, Squee!" Johnny called out, striding back toward his car.

As Nny's silohuette grew more and more opaque, Squee at last found his voice. "Nny!" No answer. "NNY!"

It was too late - Johnny was already out of hearing range.

_I must leave before you burn me  
I am the stranger who deserts you only to love you  
In another life..._

The small teen loosened his grip on the bear in favor of placing his hands on the windowsill, where the maniac had rested his own merely moments before. "I'll miss you, Nny..."

_There will be no more isolation  
In our secret separation  
You touched my heart so deeply  
You rescued me...  
Now free me..._

Now those extrasensory hearing abilities were kicking in - the highly-sensitive gland that normally picked up on the trash talk of assholes had detected the lament of the only person who cared...the one he came the closest to caring about. But he wasn't about to acknowledge what he heard. After all, that would be giving in to the forces of FEELING.

_I'll bear one precious scar that only you will know again..._

By the time Nny got into his car and turned the engine on, the sky was a deep bruised purple. He drove off into the night, leaving his past completely behind.

_I'll bear one precious scar that only you will know..._

Those unnecessary "feelings" Rev. MEAT preached about would be meaningless from then on. Johnny C. was free, at the price of destitution.

The End


End file.
